I confessed, but you broke my heart
by FallenAngel112599
Summary: Rukia told him what he had been waiting to hear for so long. She thought he would be happy. She was wrong. He broke her heart. She left him and the World of the Living again. When she was back in Soul Society, she thought she'd deal with her emotions by herself. Alone, like always. Instead, Rukia's unexpected new love and her new friend will help her pull through.
1. Chapter 1

Is he coming? I looked at my communicator._ February 10. 7:58. _He should be here by know. What if he doesn't come? I have to leave tonight. Back to Soul Society. I won't be able to come back for a long time. And I feel like if I don't tell him today, I won't be able to tell him ever.

I looked at the river. The moon's reflection looks so beautiful.

How did I end up like this? I mean, realizing that I had feeling for him. I never thought I did or would. But here I am, waiting for him. What made me realize it? Was it his bravery? Was it because he saved me from my execution? No, I realized this much after that. So what was it?

_"__Hey, Kuchiki-san, could I ask you something?" Tatsuki asked._

_I nodded._

_"__You and Ichigo," she began. "Are you two dating or something?"_

_ "__What?"_

_"__Well, you see, you two are always together. You guys look… close."_

_Chizuru popped out of nowhere. "Oh, come on!" Chizuru interrupted. "Kuchiki-san, we can all see the way Ichigo looks at you! I bet you've seen it too! Don't tell me you're that clueless!"_

_I just looked at her. "Looks… at me?" I asked, shocked._

_"__Yeah, he's always staring at you. And why else would he always protect you from Keigo?" Chizuru said._

_"__He… likes me?" I was shocked. But then I just brushed it off. I let myself laugh a little. "No. He doesn't. Me and him, we're just friends. He would never feel those kinds of feelings towards me."_

_"__Kuchiki-san, come with me," Tatsuki said, pulling me away from Chizuru._

_She looked me in the eye. What's going on?_

_She sighed. "Orihime wanted me to ask you that."_

_"__Why?" I asked._

_"__Because she… likes Ichigo."_

_My eyes widened. "What? Then, she thinks that we're together?"_

_"__Yeah," she said._

_"__Well, tell her that she has nothing to worry about."_

_"__I wish I could."_

_"__What are you talking about?"_

_"__Even if what you saying is true, it isn't for Ichigo."_

_"__What?" _

_"__I asked him the same question. He told me that he does have feeling for you. He said that he was going to tell you on Valentine's Day."_

I guess it was that. I feel so much guilt for wanting to tell him. Orihime liked him longer that I have. But, I have to.

Why did he want to wait until Valentine's Day? I have to leave tonight, four days before that day.

"Rukia," Ichigo called out. I looked to my right. He was running towards me. He was smiling. "Why did you want to meet?"

"I, um, have to tell you something. It's really important that I tell you today."

"Hm? Why?"

"Because… I have to leave tonight."

He stiffened. I looked at him. His smile disappeared and was replaced by a frown. He looked mad.

"You're leaving again?" His voice was almost ominous. It sent chills down my spine.

"Yes, I have to go back to Soul Society. But, that's not important. What I have to tell you is. Ichigo I-"

He turned around and started to leave.

"Ichigo! I have to tell you something!"

He stopped walking and turned around. "What?!" he yelled.

"I, um… I-"

He scoffed and turned to leave again.

"Wait!"

He didn't. What am I going to do?

"Ichigo, I… I love you!" I yelled out.

He stopped. He turned to look at me. A single tear fell from his eye.

"Liar, you're a liar!" he yelled. "If you truly did, you wouldn't be leaving me again! Rukia, I love you too. I've wanted to tell you for so long! I was going to tell you when I saved you, but I got scared so, I didn't! I was going to tell you when you came back, but Renji was here! Then, finally, it was just you here! I was going to tell you soon, but now you're leaving me again! Rukia, you're always leaving me alone! I want to be with you so badly! But there's always something else that's more important than me! And now you're here, telling me that you _love me?_"

I was speechless. He ran.

"Ichigo!"

"Just leave! Just leave _again! _ I don't need you anymore!"

I watch him leaving. My vision was getting blurry. Why? I felt something warm running down my cheek. I touched it. Was it… a tear? I'm crying.

Suddenly, I felt a terrible pain in my chest. It's right where my heart is. Why does it hurt so much? I collapsed to my knees and hugged myself. I struggled to keep the tears in. I couldn't and I felt millions of tears falling down my face. I chocked back my sobs but I also couldn't. I was alone. I was crying. I was broken.

I finally let all the tears and sobs out. As I cried, I felt my surroundings start to get cold. I looked up. I tried to see through my blinded eyes. There was blue reishi gathering around me. What is this?

I felt the pain in my chest again and forgot about the reishi. I covered my face with my hands and cried. I cried and cried.

Suddenly, I heard a strange sound. I looked around me. My eyes widened. The river was frozen. There was frost covering the trees. I felt something on my hand. I looked at it. Is that… snow? I looked up. It was snowing! But, it's February. All the snow had already melted.

"Oh, my," said a voice.

I turned around. It was Kisuke.

"Kuchiki-san, what happened?" he asked.

"I… I don't know."

"We should leave. Come on."

I got up and we headed to the store. When we got there, he tried asking what had happened. I didn't tell him anything. He soon gave up.

"Kuchiki-san, are you feeling well?"

I shrugged.

He sighed. "You can stay the night if you would like," he offered.

"No, I have to go back to Soul Society tonight."

He nodded.

Then, Ururu stepped into the room and handed Kisuke a sealed, yellow envelope. What's inside?

"Kuchiki-san, could you do me a favor?" he asked.

"What is it?"

"Give this to your captain," he said, handing me the envelope.

"All right," I said. I took the envelope. I want to open it. I want to see what's inside. But I shouldn't. I have no right to do that.

I guess I have to leave now. I want to say good bye to Ichigo, but I know he doesn't want to see me right now. Probably ever.

_Ichigo, I love you._


	2. Chapter 2

Soul Society. It's bitter-sweet being back again. I looked at the envelope in my hand. I have to take care of this before anything else.

I made my way to my division. I've always loved being in the thirteenth's barracks. I feel comfortable here.

I reached my captain's door. Before I could knock, I heard Kiyone and Sentaro yelling at each other. I was barely able to hear my captain trying to quiet them because there were being so loud.

I knocked on the door.

"Come in." I could barely hear my captain's voice.

As soon as I walked in, the fighting stopped and both Sentaro and Kiyone immediately sat down. They looked nervous. They're trying to hide that fact that they were fighting, again.

"Oh, Rukia, thank goodness you're back!" my captain cheered. "How was everything?"

"It was fine, Captain Ukitake. I'm supposed to give this to you," I said, handing him the envelope.

"Who is it from?"

"Urahara wanted me to give it to you."

"All right," he said happily. He opened it. He took out some papers and I think I saw pictures. I couldn't see what they were though. He looked surprised. "Rukia, you must be tiered. You should go home and rest," he said all of a sudden.

"Thank you." I smiled at him and bowed. As I left, I glared at Kiyone and Sentaro. They both got a panicked look on their faces.

Instead of going home, I went to visit Kaien's grave. I know it's late, but I have to talk with him. I have to tell him everything. It'll help. Captain Ukitake said it's not healthy bottling up your emotions. I don't talk to anyone about my feeling. Only Kaien. I'll never trust anyone else like I trust him. Trusted.

I looked down at his grave. I kneeled down.

"Hello, Kaien. I know it's been a long time since my last visit. I'm really sorry about that. I was in the world of the living. It's really nice there, you know. I've meet so many great people there. Like Ichigo. I've talked about him to you, right?" I sighed. "Anyway, that's why I'm here. Today, I made the mistake of opening up my heart to someone. I told Ichigo how I felt about him. I thought I would never tell him something like that. The reason I did was because Tatsuki, one of my human friends, told me he liked me. That made me realize how I truly felt about Ichigo. And today, I told him. I thought he would be happy. I was so wrong."

I stopped for a moment. The tears were coming back. I tried holding them back. I don't want to talk to Kaien like this. The tear came either way. I sighed.

"He got mad. He said that I was always leaving. He said that I care about everything else more than I care about him. He left." I started to cry. "He left me alone!"

After crying my eyes out, I got up. I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled down at Kaien's grave.

"Sorry that my visit was a depressing one, Kaien. Next time, I swear I'll be in a better mood! Oh yeah, I'll bring you more flowers next time, too. I owe you for today." I started walking away. "Good bye, Kaien."

Should I go home? It's really late. Nii-sama will be angry at me for coming back so late. I sighed. I guess it can't be helped.

I walked, thinking to myself.

_You're leaving me again?_ His words kept echoing in my head.

Is that how he really feels? Did I make him feel that way? I guess I did. The image of Ichigo crying came to my mind. I made him sad. _I'm sorry, Ichigo._

"Ooooooiiiiii! You there!" came a slurred voice.

"Hm? Me?" I asked. "Who's there?" I looked around. I had to squint to see the person. I finally saw who it was. I gasped. I immediately bowed. "Lieutenant Matsumoto!"

"No, no. Don't bow," she said. She was obviously drunk. "What's your name?"

"Um, I'm Rukia Kuchiki."

"Oh, a Kuchiki. Sorry to bother you, oh great noble. I need your help," she said in a rude manner. I ignored it. She's drunk. Surely she doesn't mean it.

"Of course, Lieutenant," I said respectfully. "What do you need?"

"I need you to take me to my division's barracks. Can you do that? Or are you too important to deal with the likes of me? A drunk," she said.

"I would be honored to help you Lieutenant."

"Really? You're not going to insult me for being drunk. Or because I grew up in Rukongai," she added.

"No, why would I? I grew up in Rukongai, too."

"But, you're a noble."

"Never mind me. Let's get you to your division."

She was really drunk. I noticed it right away, but I didn't think she would be _this_ drunk! She could barely stand or walk. She had to lean against me as we walked. Despite her being heavier than me, I managed to support her. The walk was quiet. She didn't speak and neither did I.

"Hey, are you sure you're a Kuchiki?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Hm? I am a Kuchiki, Lieutenant. Why do you ask?" I said, confused.

"Well, you didn't judge me when you saw me like… well, like _this._ Even people that aren't nobles judge me! It hurts, ya know? They judge cuz I drink a lot. But they don't even know me well. They should judge me after they get to know me. You get me?"

Her words made me think of my childhood. The people I'd steal from, calling me a street rat. Telling me I'm a good for nothing. The shinigami from the thirteenth, talking behind my back. Saying I didn't deserve to fight alongside them. They all judged me without knowing the real me.

"Yeah, I know just how you feel."

"Yeah, I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite. I judged you because of your name. Silly, right? You were still kind to me though. You still helped me. Thank you, Kuchiki-san. And, I'm sorry."

I smiled at her. "You don't have to thank me or apologize, Lieutenant."

"Call me Matsumoto."

"All right, I will."

We finally reached her division. She told me to take her to her captain's office. When I got to the door, I knocked.

"Come in," said the captain.

I opened the door and attempted to bow. It was difficult with Matsumoto leaning on me. "Sir," I said.

He sighed. "Place her on the couch. I'm sorry for the trouble she's caused you."

"No, no, not at all! It was no trouble, Sir!" I bowed to leave but Matsumoto stopped me.

"No, Kuchiki-san," she began. "Stay here! You're a good friend! Don't leave me!"

_You're leaving me again?_

I felt my throat tighten. Why can't I just forget Ichigo?

"Huh? Kuchiki-san, are you all right? It looks like you're about to cry," Matsumoto said, sounding worried despite being drunk.

I nodded. It was a lie. I felt a tear escape my eye.

Matsumoto gasped. "No! My new friend is crying! Why are you sad?" she said, starting to cry herself.

I sniffed and wiped the tears away. "I'm fine. I'm sorry to worry you. I should leave."

"No! Captain, tell her to stay!"

"Matsumoto, she said she's fine. Leave her alone," he replied.

"But, she's crying!" she said.

"Matsumoto, people cry when they have problems they're dealing with. Usually, people like to keep those things _personal_."

"But, she's a Kuchiki! They, like, never show any emotions!"

"Matsumoto! Apologize right-"

"No, she's right," I interrupted. "What would Nii-sama think? This is not the way a Kuchiki acts. Thank you, Matsumoto," I said as I bowed. "I have to leave."

"Wait!" Matsumoto yelled. She jumped and wrapped her arms around my legs. "Talk to me! You can trust me! I owe you, Kuchiki-san! Trust me!"

This got me thinking. _Trust_. I need someone to trust, don't I? I know I could only trust Kaien, but I need someone that can answer me.

"Kuchiki-san, please tell me."

I sighed. "Maybe later," I said. "Your captain seems busy. I wouldn't want to disturb him."

He looked at me. "Go ahead," he said plainly.

"Come on, Kuchiki-san," Matsumoto said as she took me to the couch. "Tell me what's bothering you."

She looked serious now. She didn't look drunk, just serious. And caring.

I didn't want to talk about it. It would make me look weak. Nii-sama would be very disappointed in me.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about it. I promise." The look in her eyes made me want to trust her. They made me open up.

"A while ago, I was sent to the world of the living. I was there just to patrol the town for a while. It was just another mission. But, it wasn't. I meet people, kind people. They were so kind, especially this one guy. He was brave and selfless. He would make me so mad though. We were just friends. Or, that's what I thought. People would ask me if there was something going on between us. I would always say no. That's what I truly thought. Then someone told me that he had feelings for me and that he was going to tell me. But I had to leave again. I had to come back here. I made the stupid decision to tell him. I told him, but I also told him I had to leave. He snapped. He said… he said that I was always leaving him behind." My voice was starting to break. "It was stupid! I made the mistake of falling in love with someone that's alive. I knew it wouldn't work! I knew something bad would happen! But I still did it! I ignored it. It was delusional… _I _was delusional!" I had started to cry.

Matsumoto pulled me into a light hug. She started to stroke my head.

"It's ok, Kuchiki-san. It'll be ok," she said, he voice breaking too.

We stayed that way for a while longer. I finally pulled away. I sniffed and wiped my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because," she said. "It's all just so sad! Captain, isn't it sad?"

We turned to look at him. He just looked me in the eyes. Is that… sympathy? Does he pity me? I don't need this! I especially don't need it from the "ice cold" Captain Hitsugaya.

I got up. "Thank you, Matsumoto. I appreciate the fact that you listened to me." I started to leave.

"Wait! Kuchiki-san," she said as she came towards me. "Let me walk you to the Kuchiki Manor!"

"That's not necessary, Matsumoto. Thank you for offering."

"No! I want to! Captain, can I?"

"Do as you like, but make sure that you're here _on time_ tomorrow. And make sure that you actually do your paperwork!" he replied.

"Oh, I will, Captain! Come on, Kuchiki-san!"

She ran to me and took me by the arm. She dragged me out of the room and we made our way to the Kuchiki Manor. We didn't talk much.

"Hey, Kuchiki-san," she said suddenly.

"Yes?" I asked politely.

She sighed. "You don't have to be so formal or polite with me! I want you to be my friend, Kuchiki-san! Come on!"

I smiled. "You want to be _my _friend?"

"Of course," she practically yelled.

"Thank you, Matsumoto. That means a lot to me. More than you think."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"I don't have many friends. It feels nice to know that at least one person wants to be my friend."

"Who wouldn't want to be your friend?"

"You'd be surprised," I said sarcastically.

She giggled. "You're funny. Tell you what, tomorrow, I'll work real hard on my paperwork and take you out. We'll make some new friends for you! That sound good?"

This made me smile. I know a few things about her. One of those things is that she hates paperwork. She'd do paperwork for me? "Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you."

"No problem," she reassured me. "Looks like it's time for me to head back."

I looked forward and saw that we had arrived at the Kuchiki Manor.

"Thank you for walking me back."

"It was nothing! I'll stop by your division tomorrow. After paperwork, of course," she said, smiling.

"All right," I said. "Good night."

"Yeah, good night."

She started to walk back. She is truly a good person.

I entered the manor and headed straight to my room. When I got there, I took a deep breath. It'll be weird not sleeping in Ichigo's closet tonight. Oh well, he hates me now. Not much I can do. I won't cry over it though. Not anymore. I have to be strong. I let my feelings get the best of me. A Lieutenant and a _captain_ saw my weakness today. That will never happen again. _Never._

_Good bye, Ichigo. I loved you._


	3. Chapter 3

Rukia's POV

_Tweet, tweet!_

The birds are singing. Their songs are all so beautiful. BUT DO THEY SERIOUSLY HAVE TO SING SO EARLY IN THE MORNING?! I want to sleep! Stupid birds shut up!

After yelling at the birds in my head a while longer, I gave it up and got up. I sighed. What time is it? I checked my communicator. Oh, my gosh! I'm going to be late! The stupid birds weren't singing early! I was over sleeping!

I got dressed and rushed out of the manor. I ran all the way to the 13th division. When I saw the barracks, I slowed down and composed myself. Hopefully, no one will notice I'm a little late.

I entered. I was about to go to my captain's office to help with paperwork, but I was interrupted on the way there. It was Kiyone and Sentaro. For once they weren't fighting. They were just running towards me… with scared looks on their faces. Why? Did something happen to my captain?!

"Rukia! Captain wants to see you in his office! Right now!" they said in unison as they ran to me.

"Me? Why?"

Kiyone got close to me and whispered, "Can't talk about it right now, Rukia. It's a secret. No one can know."

"Why?"

"Just come with us and you'll see!" Sentaro said. He and Kiyone grabbed both my arms and practically dragged me to my captain's office. When we got there, they threw me into his office and slammed the doors shut. They stayed at the doors, as if guarding them. _What's going on?_

"Ah, Rukia, you're here. We need to talk about something. Or, more specifically, you," my captain said.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"No, it's nothing bad," he replied.

"_Bad! _If anyone finds out, she'll be mocked for the rest of her life! This is way ba… AGH!" Sentaro was saying before Kiyone hit him in the stomach.

"Idiot! You're supposed to keep it quiet! What if the others heard you?!" Kiyone yelled.

"What are they talking about, Captain Ukitake?" I asked.

He sighed. He took out the envelope I gave him yesterday. He opened it and took out what was inside. "They are talking about this," he said. He placed several pictures on the desk. I looked at them. They were pictures of the frozen river! And, the trees and grass that were covered in frost! Why does he… Kisuke!

"Rukia, do you know what these are?" Ukitake asked.

"Yes. And, no," I said.

"I see. These were in the envelope you gave me yesterday. You said it was from Kisuke." I nodded. "There was a letter, too. In short, it said that, from hat he knows, you caused this. Is it true?"

"Yes. I don't really know what happened, Captain Ukitake."

"Well, it says here that he believes you lost control of your emotions and that caused this to happen. Did something happen in the World of the Living that would cause you to lose control of your emotions, Rukia?"

I sighed. I didn't feel like talking about it. Not right now.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk about it, Rukia. I'm just worried. This is a great deal of power. You froze an entire river and covered a large amount of land with snow. It seems that you've had some power hidden in you!" he said, trying to make things better. "The reason we're talking about this is because it's not wise to let you go on without having control over this. This could make things... difficult for you."

"How so?" I asked.

"People… other shinigami could use this against you. This is a lot of power. Others might see it as… a bit of a treat. People want to be on top. If they see the power you have, they'll look for any excuse to bring you to the bottom. Do you understand?"

"Yes. What should I do?"

"Don't worry, Rukia. Sentaro, Kiyone and I will be with you through all of this! We will help you learn to control your powers better. Isn't that right?"

We looked over at Kiyone and Sentaro. They nodded.

"Thank you," I said.

"No problem, Rukia!" Kiyone and Sentaro said in unison.

They were about to start fighting again, but Ukitake quickly changed the subject.

"So, we have to start with some training. You have a snow type zanpakuto, right?" I nodded. "Ok, none of us are snow or ice types. That makes things more difficult!"

He makes it sound like a good thing. Why must he always be so happy?

"Captain! I have an idea!" Sentaro said. "I know someone with an _ice_ type zanpakuto! That's close to a snow type."

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Captain Hitsugaya," he said.

"Oh, yes! How could I forget about Shiro-chan?! But the problem is will he want to help us?"

"Who knows?" Sentaro said.

Kiyone suddenly gasped. "I know! Captain Hitsugaya _loves _watermelon! We could bribe… I mean, use that. First, we ask him, though. We try our hardest to persuade him. If everything we have fails, we'll use the watermelon! He won't be able to resist! But then again, he's had years to outgrow that obsession. I have a plan B! If he _does _resist, we'll use Rukia!"

"What? Use me?" I asked.

"Yes! Who could resist Rukia! If you flirt with him a bit, he'll definitely…"

"Kiyone! I will not do that!"

"Fine, fine. I was just brainstorming."

I sighed. "Is Captain Hitsugaya the only person that could train me? I wouldn't want to bother him."

"Rukia, stop putting yourself down like that!" Kiyone ordered.

"Rukia, I'm sure Shiro-chan wouldn't think of you as a bother. And, he's the only person I can think of," Captain Ukitake said.

"Fine, I guess I should go ask him."

"We're coming, too!" Sentaro said.

"No, it's fine," I said.

"Rukia, we said we'd help you," Captain Ukitake said. "So, we're coming with you!"

I smiled. I am so glad Ukitake is my captain. And I'm glad I have friends like Kiyone and Sentaro.

I just hope Captain Hitsugaya will help me. Hopefully, what happened yesterday won't make his opinion of me bad. I hope he'll train me. Even if I don't like the idea too much, I want to try.

We left the 13th division's barracks and headed to the 10th. Before we went there, we stopped and got a watermelon. Kiyone and Sentaro fought about who would carry it and Sentaro ended up winning the argument.

As we got closer to the 10th division's barracks, I started to realize just how nervous I was. I felt my hands getting sweaty and my heart pounding. Maybe it's not too late to back down from this. How bad would it be if someone found out I couldn't fully control my powers? Not too bad, I think.

"Rukia, are you ok?" Kiyone asked.

I looked at her and put on a fake smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She just looked at me for a while. Does she finally know the difference between my fake and real smiles? But, when I think about it, when have I ever truly smiled in Soul Society? The only times I can think of aren't even in Soul Society. They're all memories I had with Ichigo. I have to stop thinking of him!

"Rukia, we are here," Ukitake said. "Do you want to ask him? Or, do you want me to?"

"If it's all right with you, could you ask him?" I asked.

He smiled at me. "Sure, Rukia. I'll be more than happy to!"

"Thank you."

We entered the barracks and went towards Captain Hitsugaya's office. Captain Ukitake was about to knock, but stopped when we heard the yelling.

"Matsumoto! I told you to stop bringing sake into my office! How many times do I have to tell you?!" It was Captain Hitsugaya.

"But Captain, I was working this time!" Matsumoto said in a slurred voice. "Look! I'm almost half way done!"

"I don't care! I told you to stop drinking in my office!"

Captain Ukitake had opened the door by now. They hadn't noticed us and Captain Hitsugaya was still yelling.

Captain Ukitake coughed to get their attention. "Uh, Shiro-chan, is this a bad time?"

Matsumoto saw I was there and gasped. She dropped the sake she was "protecting" from her Captain and rushed to me.

"Rukia," she said as she wrapped her arms around my legs. "Help me! Captain's trying to get rid of my sake! Tell him to stop! I was working this time but he still wants my sake!"

"Shiro-chan," Captain Ukitake said. "Should we come back later?"

"No, it's… Did you just call me 'Shiro-chan' again? I told you to stop calling me that!"

"But it's such a cute name for a cute person!"

"No, it's not! And I'm not _cute_!" he said. He looked so angry that it was actually kind of… cute. He sighed and calmed himself down. He went to his desk and sat down. "Anyway, what is it that you wanted?"

"Well, it's about Rukia," he said, pushing me gently in front of him. "I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"Kiyone, Sentaro, stand outside the door. Make sure no one hears this," he said. "Rukia, do you have the envelope?"

"Yes, here it is," I said as I handed it to him. He opened it, but stopped abruptly. "Shiro-chan, if I show you this, you have to make sure no one outside this room finds out. If someone does, Rukia, who is my subordinate, and a very important one to me, will be the one that will be impacted the most."

Captain Hitsugaya's eyes shifted to me. "Yeah, I won't tell anyone. Matsumoto, this isn't something to gossip about. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she said.

Ukitake placed the pictures on Captain Hitsugaya's desk. He looked at them carefully. He examined each one slowly.

"What is this?" he asked.

"This is Rukia's doing. She froze an entire river and covered a great amount of land with snow. Of course, she didn't mean to do this, though. From what we know, Rukia did this without knowing. From what someone told me, she couldn't control this at all," Captain Ukitake explained.

"This is a dangerous amount of power to have. Especially if you can't control it," he said, looking at me.

"We know that. That's why we're here. Normally, I'd train her. But as you can see, it'll take more than that. It would take another snow, or ice, wielder to help her control this."

"So you want me to train her?"

"Yes, Shiro-chan, please say you will."

He looked at me then at my captain. Then he looked into space. He was considering it.

He finally looked up at me. "All right, I'll do it."

"That's wonderful! Thank you so much Shiro-chan!" my captain cheered.

"Stop calling me that!"

"Anyway, we brought something in case you'd say no. I guess we don't need it anymore! But, I wouldn't want to waste it! Kiyone, Sentaro, come in!" They did. "Give Shiro-chan his watermelon!"

"Watermelon?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, we got you the biggest one we could find!"

Sentaro gave Captain Hitsugaya the watermelon. His eyes brightened and I think I saw some drool at the side of his mouth. He looked like a child. It's actually cute. To think that all the things people say about him never smiling and always looking so mature for such a young person are wrong. He looks like he should for someone his age. Come to think of it, he's younger than me. I wonder how he feels about having so many responsibilities at his young age.

"Enjoy the watermelon, Shiro-chan! When can you start her training?" Captain Ukitake asked.

"Tomorrow," he said. "Could I keep the pictures for a while longer? I want to look at them closer."

"Of course, keep them as long as you'd like! But, please, make sure they're hidden from others. It's very important that no one finds them."

"I'll keep them safe. Tomorrow, I'll stop by your office to get Kuchiki. Oh, and I'll need her files."

"All right, what do you want on her?"

"Everything," he said.

"Rukia, do you want to say something to Shiro-chan?" Captain Ukitake asked me.

"Yes." I looked at him and bowed. "Thank you so much. I'm very grateful that you'd take time to train me."

"It's fine," he said. "Matsumoto, you asked if you could leave early today."

"Yes," she replied.

"You wanted to take Kuchiki somewhere, correct?"

"Uh, yeah, I did."

"You said you'd do your paperwork if you could. You worked hard enough. Go."

"What?"

"I said go."

"Really?! I can leave?!"

"Just go before I change my mind!"

"Let's go Rukia!" she said as she dragged me out of the room at high speed. "Captain Ukitake, I'm taking Rukia out for the day!"

"All right, that's fine!" he yelled to us.

I wonder where she's taking me. Yesterday, she said she was taking me somewhere to make new friends. The thought of meeting and talking with unfamiliar people made me nervous.

_I hope they'll like me. Please tell me they will._


	4. Chapter 4

Rukia's POV

"Oh, Rukia, I can't wait for you meet these two. I know that they're probable not the people you'd think would be good, reliable friends, but trust me. When you need them to be there, they will be. They're good people."

"Matsumoto, who are we meeting? They sound like nice people."

"They are! I bet you guys will get close in no time!"

"I'm glad you think so. But, who are they?"

"You'll see. I want it to be a surprise!"

I decided to take her word on it and waited until she stopped dragging me. When she did, I looked at where she took me. We were… at a bar?! Oh, I think I know who she was talking about. I thought of the two I thought she was talking about. Were they really the people I want as friends? I mean, they do seem like nice people and everything. But… can I trust them. I know they have a serious side to them. But there's also a… lose side to them. Nii-sama would disapprove.

"Come on, Rukia," Matsumoto said. "I just know you'll love there two!"

She took me into the bar and led me to a table. At the table were two drunken people. They were Lieutenants Hisagi and Kira. Does she really think the three of us would make good friends? Despite the fact that they're drunk and don't look very reliable at the moment, she could have a point.

I looked at them. They were chugging down bottles of sake. When Lieutenant Hisagi finished his bottle, he set it down on the table and took in a deep breath. "Ha, Kira, I beat you!" He then burped, grabbed another bottle and started to chug that one down.

Ok, maybe Matsumoto has no idea what she's doing.

"Izuru, Hisagi, I want you guys to meet someone." She stepped back and pushed me forward. "This is Rukia Kuchiki."

They both spit out the sake they had been chugging and tried, but failed, to compose themselves. They didn't pay attention to who I was. They only noticed the Kuchiki name. They started to "explain" the reason they were drunk during the day.

"Guys, calm down! She's not gonna tell anyone you guys were drinking during the day! Geez," she said. "You guys should have paid attention to _her _instead of her _name_. You guys should know that she doesn't act all noble-y!"

They stopped panicking and looked at me.

"Hey, I know you!" It was Lieutenant Hisagi. "You were that girl that fought off that doll thing that was controlling you! That was amazing!"

His complements made me blush. No one had ever told me they were impressed by my power. But… he's drunk. I'm sure it's just the sake speaking.

"Kira, this girl is amazing! You remember those doll things we fought a while back?" Lieutenant Kira nodded. "Well, this one doll got to her and it was controlling her. She attacked me and tried to kill one of her friends. I was about to kill her. But then, she started fighting back. It was amazing! She ended up defeating that thing!"

Did he really remember all that? I didn't think he would bother to remember anything about me.

This seemed to make Lieutenant Kira interested in me. He asked me about what happened and I told him about it. After that, we started talking about… just about anything. It was so much fun. We all got along so well. Matsumoto was right. They do seem like people I'd be able to trust and rely on.

The time we spent talking seemed small. I hadn't noticed all the bottles of sake Matsumoto, Hisagi, and Kira drank. I hadn't noticed that the sun went down. I hadn't noticed that the moon came out either. I was too busy having… _fun_.

But, I had to notice eventually. I finally saw how late it had gotten.

I got up. "Matsumoto, it's late. I have to head home now. Good night, Hisagi, Kira."

"Do you really have to leave, Rukia," Kira asked.

"Yeah, I do. Nii-sama doesn't like it when I stay out late."

"Aw, come on. I'm sure Captain Kuchiki won't notice this once," Hisagi said.

"No. I really should go."

"No! Rukia, stay with us! Come on! Here, drink a little! It'll loosen you up!" Matsumoto said, her voice slurred.

I smiled. She is a good person despite this. She only wants me to have fun. "No, I can't. Sorry. I'll see you guys later."

They disappointedly waved good bye. I left the bar and I made my way to the Kuchiki Manor. As I walked, I started to think.

Tomorrow is the day I start to train with Captain Hitsugaya. I wonder how it'll be like. Will he be strict and scary? Or, will he be compassionate and supportive. From what the rumors say, I feel like he'll be scary. But, from what Matsumoto said, I feel like he'll be compassionate. I hope he'll like me. I mean, I hope he thinks well of me. But… what if he doesn't? He already saw me cry. What if he thinks I'm weak?

Geez, why am I so caught up in this? What does it matter if he thinks of me as weak? I'll show him I'm not! I'll prove to everyone that's doubted me that they were wrong. Whether they were enemies that underestimated me, or other shinigami. I'll show them they were wrong to think of me as weak.

The thought of proving them all wrong made me smile. They'll finally see I'm not as fragile as I look! And, maybe, just maybe, Nii-sama will let me take the Lieutenant's exam. I'll show him that he doesn't have to protect me from the dangers. I can take care of myself. He'll see! I know he only has my best interest in mind. But, I want to try. I want to see what I'm capable of. I'm sure Nii-sama would understand. Wouldn't he?

I snapped out of my thoughts and saw I was standing in front of the Kuchiki Manor. I really need to pay more attention to what's going on outside of my head.

I entered and rushed to my room. Hopefully, Nii-sama is asleep. If he is, maybe he won't notice I was so late coming home. When I got to my room, I quickly and quietly closed the door and went to my futon. As usual, my room was a mess. My Chappies and other stuffed animals were scattered across my room. I'm glad Nii-sama doesn't come to my room. If he did, he would get really angry at the mess that is my room. I laughed to myself at the thought of him seeing my room.

My laughter was interrupted by a yawn. My eyes suddenly felt heavy and I felt exhausted. I went to my futon and lied down. I closed my eyes and let myself go to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Rukia's POV

That morning, when I woke up, I was hit with all the emotions I had tried to hide. I was full of anxiety, curiosity and fear. I was anxious about beginning my training with Captain Hitsugaya. I was curious to see how he would train me. And I was scared about doing terrible during training. I hope he sees I'm strong and worth his time.

All morning, I could only concentrate on one thing. That thing was Captain Hitsugaya. I wasn't just curious about how he would train me anymore.

When I came to the 13th squad's barracks, I started to think about him. I barely knew anything about him. It made me think of him as mysterious. He usually keeps to himself and that's something I admire about him. Then again, that's pretty much all I know about him.

I wonder why he's so quiet. When I think about it, it's actually a really attractive trait. And his short temper is so childish that it's cute. And he's so young and powerful. It's admirable. The way he runs his squad is amazing. The thought of him giving orders to his subordinates, who are all older than him, makes him dreamy…

What am I saying?! He's my superior! I can't think of him like that! I have no idea what came over me. I've never thought of anyone like that! Well, anyone except for… Ichigo.

No! No, no, no, no, no! I am not going to get all depressed again over _him_! I won't, not again. I am too busy to waste my time thinking about Ichigo. I have to concentrate on training. I have to concentrate on becoming a better shinigami. A stronger shinigami!

I erased _him_ from my mind and got back to work. After five seconds, I stopped and sighed. I can't just _forget _about him! He's such an important part of my life! He showed me that my life did have meaning! He saved my life. He did in more ways than one. He made me laugh, smile. He showed me how to have fun and… live!

I sighed. _Stupid Ichigo. _Why do I have to feel this way?!

I sat down and looked out the window. This morning when I woke up, it was sunny. Now the sun is hidden behind dark clouds. It's dark and gloomy outside. I laughed to myself. It's funny. The way it looks outside matches how I feel on the inside. Geez, sometimes I wish I never…

There was a knock at the door. I didn't bother to ask who it was. I just told them to come in. someone entered. They didn't speak for a while.

"Kuchiki, why do you look depressed?"

I immediately snapped out of my sadness and stood up. I bowed. "I'm sorry, Captain Hitsugaya. I didn't know it as you."

"Never mind that, Kuchiki. Why do you look sad?"

I decided to play dumb. "Sad? I don't know what you're talking about, Sir! I'm perfectly fine!"

"Don't give me that, Kuchiki. I'm not stupid."

"I didn't mean to offend you, Sir. But I am fine."

He sighed. "Ukitake told me something was upsetting you. Anyway, I know how it feels like to feel depressed. I also know how it feels when people try to pry the reason out of you. So, I won't ask again. But, I want you to know something. I like to keep to myself. I don't like to talk about myself or other people's lives. But, this changes when I am training someone. I like to know about the person. It helps me understand what I'm working with. If you don't want to share, that's fine. Just know that, when you want to talk, I'll be there."

His words shocked me. I thought he would keep to himself. I thought he would be cold, not so compassionate. His kindness… it intrigues me. It makes me admire him more. It makes me… like him.

"Do you understand, Kuchiki?"

"Y-Yes, Sir, I do."

"All right, let's go."

"Go?"

"We're starting your training now. Come on."

We had left the 13th's barracks. Captain Hitsugaya led me to a secluded area in the forest. There was a huge clearing there. It was perfect for training.

Captain Hitsugaya took me to the center of the clearing and sat down. He looked up at me and gestured for me to sit down. I did, but I tried not to sit too close.

"Kuchiki, tell me about yourself."

"What? You want me to tell you about… me?"

"Yes. That's part of the training. I want to know everything. Even the personal things, at some point. To make it easier, I'll start. I grew up in an orphanage in Junrinan. I was raised by my grandmother."

"I was-"

"Speak louder."

"Yes, Sir. I grew up in Inuzuri-"

I heard something similar to a gasp escape him. He was surprised. Everyone is when I tell them that. They all think I was born a noble.

"I grew up in Inuzuri. I as abandoned by my sister when I was a baby. I grew up with Renji. He's my closest friend."

"I grew up with Hinamori."

What should I tell him next? I don't want to mention my sister anymore. "Nii-sama adopted me into the Kuchiki clan when I was still in the academy. He did so because… Never mind."

He looked at me. Then he said, "I became a shinigami to control my powers. They were getting out of hand and I was endangering the life of someone close and dear to me."

"I became a shinigami because of my friends from Inuzuri."

We continued this for a while. I talked about Renji mostly. There was nothing else I really wanted to share about.

Finally, he said we'd start the real training.

"Today we'll start with sword skills. I want to see how well you wield and fight with your zanpakuto," he said. He unsheathed his zanpakuto and took his stance. I did the same. Then, without warning, he came at me. The impact was powerful. It almost made me lose my grip on my zanpakuto.

Despite wanting to prove myself to him, I didn't try to fight back much. I didn't feel like it. I was in my own world, thinking of Ichigo.

My thoughts were interrupted my Captain Hitsugaya. "What's this, Kuchiki? Are you not trying or are you seriously this weak?" His voice was cruel and cold. "Captain Ukitake said so many good things about you. He said you were skilled at kido, wielding a sword and so many other things. I guess he was wrong!"

His next blow sent me back a few feet. He was aggravating me. But it wasn't enough to make me start trying.

"I thought growing up in a place like Inuzuri would make someone _like you_ tough. But, from what I'm seeing, you _are _as fragile and weak as you look!"

His comments started to inflict pain on my heart and pride.

"I thought you were trying to prove yourself to Renji. You said so. I get the feeling it's not just him you want to prove yourself to. Am I right? But right now, you're not doing such a good job!"

How did he know that?

His strikes and blows were becoming more powerful and fast. With my current effort, it was getting hard to block all of them successfully.

"Kuchiki, is this all you can do? If it is, then you became a shinigami for nothing! If I were one of the friends that you clamed you became a shinigami for, I'd be disappointed."

He was getting so annoying. I stated to try more, but not that much.

For a moment, he stopped talking. He was concentrating more on fighting me. His blows were stronger, he was faster. He got faster and faster by the second. His next blow sent me flying. I landed on my butt. I got up and struck back. I still didn't try though. He struck again and sent me back again. I tried a little hard because of this.

He seemed to be getting aggravated. His next blow knocked my zanpakuto out of my hand and sent me to the ground. He looked down at me.

"This is disappointing, Kuchiki. I expected more. Looks like being adopted into a noble family has made you soft."

This made me angrier than I already was. Despite this, I stayed on the ground.

He sighed. "Byakuya has made you soft. He has spoiled you."

I looked up at him. He raised his sword and brought it down at me. My anger made me take action. I quickly got to my knees and caught his blade in between the palms of my hands. I twisted it so he would lose his grip. I swiped his legs from under him and he fell. I pointed _his_ sword at him.

"No one, not even you, insults Nii-sama. I won't let them. He is so important to me, more than anyone knows. He gave me a name! He gave me a home! He gave me a purpose to live! Because of this, I won't let anyone speak about him like that!"

The next thing I did was help him up. I gave him back his zanpakuto then bowed.

"I'm sorry, Sir." I _partially_ meant it. "I was out of line to speak like that to you."

"No. I understand how you feel. Byakuya is someone you care much for. But, in order to get you to fight, I had to say something like that. It worked though. You are very skilled with a sword, and fighting unarmed. I also saw that you mostly have control over your powers. I thought that would be enough to get you to lose control. Anyway, we're done for today."

"Really, we're done?"

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, he left.

Wow, he really is admirable.


End file.
